It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
