Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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