Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
