It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
