just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
