I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We smell like vodka and hangover
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
