How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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