I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
