Do vagina's smell?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
