I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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