Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
