I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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