Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
