so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
