She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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