that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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