I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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