The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
