Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
