How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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