She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
