Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
