i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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