guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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