i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
