Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
