No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
