So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
