there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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