He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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