I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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