new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My vagina is officially offended.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
