doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
