If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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