My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
