I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
