we need to drink 2009 down the drain
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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