i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
