so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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