mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
