We're like a lot better than the average bears
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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