weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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