Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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