Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
