i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
