My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
