Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
