He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
