I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
