He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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