fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
