I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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