Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
