she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
