Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
