Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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